I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
