Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
