And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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