Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
