I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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