Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
