Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
