I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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