Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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