i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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