just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
