so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
