So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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