But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
