may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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