I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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