I hate your face
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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