tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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