i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
