That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
