apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My life is pants optional.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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