he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
