He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
