I just pynch a tree in the face
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
