I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
