Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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