fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
