i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
