we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
