Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
