put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
