he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
