It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
