The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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