She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
