to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He better not be in your backpack
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
