is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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