Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
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turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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