omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
