Cold hands, warm shart.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
