Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Are we still banned from the library?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
