thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
