Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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