benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize