I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
