Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sobbing to NWA
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
