areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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