You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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