Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
