no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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