i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
