Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
