i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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