HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm having to shit out rocks
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
