Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
