the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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